Counselling: Pro-active to avoid Reactive?

A few weeks ago, there was a celebrity couple’s therapy revelation that was generating a lot of conversation, both in the entertainment world and beyond:  Veronica Mars and the guy from Punked, aka Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard,  revealed that they’d  been going to therapy since they were in their early days of dating.   And while they explained that they needed guidance and the tools to navigate their respective trust issues, they readily admit that they wanted guidance and a better understanding of themselves to help them work through things as they arose.

"Kristen Bell, Dax Shepard have been in couples therapy since they met" - Page Six

Online cynicism ran rampant with side-eyes and cries of ‘trouble in paradise!’ and I had my own ‘where there’s smoke, there’s fire’ opinion at first but when I really thought about it, I wondered if this wasn’t a genius idea!  I mean, relationships are never completely stress-free, but maybe they’re on to something here; arming themselves with the paddles they need, to help steer them through the inevitable poops in the creek of life that come up throughout their partnership.  If you think about it, to some extent we’ve had counsellors from childhood to early adulthood; our parents and family members serve as both counsellors and referees in our interactions between us and our siblings, cousins and friends.  Teachers have the unenviable job of guiding us as we live in the smaller-scale world of the classroom, where a small army of similar and dissimilar personalities have to work together in respect, trust and perseverance.  Even in our circle of friends, we are all counsellors to each other in an unofficial capacity – why do we shy away from help when we’re adults?

When couples are planning their weddings, we can sometimes see  happy-go-lucky couples become frazzled as they get sideswiped by the stresses of managing family issues, balancing individual wants and needs, all while planning a big party with an equally big price-tag.  Money and family drama are two of the biggest stresses in anyone’s life, but the juxtaposition of just how stressful these things can be against the picture-perfect wedding that they have in mind can really throw even the strongest of brides and grooms into a bit of a funk.  For couples having a church or temple wedding, marriage counselling is a prerequisite for their wedding, and most people who do it come away with an appreciation for both the process and what they learned.  But what about once the party’s over and ’happily ever after’ (in other words, real life) comes along?  Maybe we’re looking at counselling all wrong! What if instead of seeing it what we do when things aren’t working, we should be looking at it like money in the bank of life experience that we keep depositing into, padding it up for a rainy day?  Sometimes there are things more valuable than dollars and cents, could marriage therapy be the new currency worth looking into?

Wishing you a day as limitless as you are~

Lisa and April