Bridal Requests: How Far Is Too Far?

The best words a bride-to-be could ever say to her bridesmaids!
Via Pinterest 

There are a scant handful of sentiments or words of advice that April and I have shared with every bride we've worked with. And when I say a 'handful', I mean we can count them on one hand!  The very first sage sentiment we impart, the one that will be repeated numerous times during the planning process, is short but sweet:

"It's your day!"

We firmly believe that the happy couple deserve to have the day that THEY want.  They should be free from the opinions and wishes of others (most often, their family members) and not obligated in the least to acquiesce to third-party requests that fall contrary to their own game plan.  Now, that's not to say that brides or grooms will turn a deaf ear to anything anyone says or asks off them, there is always a little dance that takes place when family, particularly parents, come on-board during the planning process. But while a bride may 'kindly decline' a request to cover up a shoulder tattoo because 'it doesn't look appropriate', she might cheerfully agree to wear a lace bolero or shrug in the church that is made from a part of her favourite grandmother's wedding dress. It's all about picking your battles, you know?

Blue hair, don't care! This bride is a BOSS!
Via weddbook.com

 (Side note: Monetary contributions do NOT give anyone final say! We've had couples put in a very tough position by parents who put money towards the wedding day and feel that since they're footing some of the cost, that they can say how and where the money is spent, and have a list of demands tied to the money. Helping to pay for the wedding is a thoughtful gesture but should come free of ulterior motives) 

Via Pinterest 

Now, here's the big question..... Does 'It's your day!' automatically mean 'it's your way or the highway' ??  For us, the two concepts are not synonymous whatsoever! While it's one thing to want your bridal party to wear a particular colour or length of dress, it's another thing completely to ask a bridesmaid to drop 15 pounds by the big day.  Once a bride crosses the line and starts requesting a change to a person's body, it's safe to say that she has officially entered Bridezilla Country, Population: 1.  A story about an extremely specific bridal request is making the rounds online and I think it's safe to say that 'Ella', the bride in question, has lost her everlovin' mind. In my very humble opinion, of course!

*~Bridal Party Hair To Dye For?!?!?~*

When I heard about this bizarro and quite frankly, dangerous request, my first reaction?

Thank you, Kelly Kapoor!
Via tumblr

Personally, this not just rubbed me the wrong way, but it put my teeth on edge.  The request is, let's be blunt, pretty damn inappropriate for a lot of reasons, the most depressing one being it fosters and highlights insecurity and the default reaction to pit girls against girls. If there was ever an environment that I thought would be supportive, bonding and celebratory, a bridal party seems like the place. This particular circle of friends seems more like frenemies, because not only does the bride put her request out there, but she gets her other bridesmaids to 'persuade' Red to dye her hair!  The reasoning is presented as topical - her hair would clash with the colour theme. But then the things  veer a little closer to a darker truth with the revelation that not only would her hair distract from the visual cohesiveness of the party, and that her hair is quite 'attention-grabbing'. The bride also reminded Red that as a bride, she gets to veto everything in terms of her bridesmaids' appearance.  Ugh. If I was in Red's shoes, I'd get the hell outta Dodge while the gettin' was good!   But what would you do if you were Red? Or, alternately, what if you were Ella? What does your bridal party look like?

A motley, merry crew....

Via onceuponawed.blogspot.com

....or the Plastics from Mean Girls?

Via quitecontemporary.com

Wishing you a day as limitless as you are~
Lisa and April